Bah Humbug and the Christmas Blues

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As the Christmas holiday quickly approaches, I have tried to force feed myself some Christmas joy by walking through the holiday decoration aisles of Wal-Mart and Hobby Lobby. It didn’t work. I can not bare the thought of holiday movies and anytime I hear a Christmas song on the radio, I quickly change the station. Now I have not been spreading my Scrooge-like tendencies to others who are indeed enjoying this holiday season. I have been kind enough to keep all of this to myself until now.


I haven’t always been like this. Christmas is usually a big production at my house. My parents go all in. Even though my brother and I are adults, they still wait until the night before Christmas to put presents under the tree that are signed, “From: Mr. and Mrs. Claus.” My mom buys Christmas shirts and hats for everyone, we go to church on Christmas Eve and open our presents listening to my mother’s Soulful Christmas CD. Now that I have been living in Texas for the past couple of years, Christmas has been the only time of the year that I have gotten to see my family because I’m too busy being a grown-up.

One thing that I’ve learned since I’ve moved farther away is that people from home don’t come to visit you as often as you like. They actually prefer you come to see them instead of the other way around. Last Christmas, I was so frustrated by this notion as well as the ridiculous amount of money I spend on holiday travel that I said that I wouldn’t be coming home this Christmas.

This April, my mom passed away. Last Christmas was the last Christmas that I spent with her. I am so thankful that I didn’t give into my Scrooge-like tendencies then and I haven’t even missed the money that I spent. This year I will be going back home as usual to spend the Christmas holiday with my family. I expect it to be difficult; needless to say that this growing expectation has probably stifled my holiday joy.

I once heard that the holiday season is the time of year when depression increases the most. Given my current situation, I do not find this surprising at all. A lot of people look forward to the holidays because they finally get to use that vacation time they’ve been saving up to see family and friends. When we lose someone close to us, life will be difficult to handle at times, especially around the holidays. I encourage whoever is reading this to take a minute outside of the holiday hustle and bustle to be there for someone…it can be as simple as a hug, smile, compliment, or an open ear and heart. You never know who might need it the most.

Ms. Jas