Motherhood and Marriage vs. Career...what to do, what to do...?

So it’s a few days after my 27^th birthday and shit just got real. I have always been very ambitious, but admittedly, I have been on auto-pilot for the last couple of years. Like most people, I got caught up in the everyday strife of working just to get by. It felt as though my 20s would never be over and then 27 cold-cocked me in the forehead.  My 30s are around the corner and I still have a lot of stuff to accomplish. Now, I do know that I am still very young and I have a lot of living to do, but it’s something about coming upon the end of a decade that makes you put everything into perspective.

With this in mind, I was talking with a co-worker about careers, college, etc. and she asked me, “What about a husband and kids?” And I stopped myself from saying with a hint of stankness, “What about a husband and kids?” Despite my ambitiousness, I never thought I couldn’t have it all, but whenever someone meets me and observes my drive or singleness, I always get the same responses. “Don’t you want to settle down?” “You’re one of those career girls, aren’t you?”

My frustration with these questions is that it’s pretty much assumed and accepted that as a woman you have to choose one or the other….you can’t have both. That annoys the shitake out of me. Yes, I can be very ambitious and lost in my dreams probably more so than the next person, but WHY can’t I have BOTH.


Perhaps I watch too many damn romantic comedies or maybe I shouldn’t have taken the Huxtables at face value, but I want it all: the career, the man, and the kids. And I think it’s possible. The ironic thing is that these questions are always asked by other women. I very rarely get this response from men. I actually get the complete opposite. They usually tell me to run far, far away from the idea of marriage until I’ve gotten all of the shenanigans of my youth out.

Basically, what I’m saying, is it’s nothing wrong with wanting marriage and motherhood, but there also isn’t anything wrong with wanting a great career either. So don’t try to make me choose!